Begging for a Pegging, but I’m Straight??

I think the single most fascinating thing that has happened as I started my discovery into kink, D/s alternative play, whatever you might call it is my involvement with pegging, bottoming.

This is something I honestly could never have seen coming (no pun intended).

For most of my adult life, I could not even conceive of anal play to me. My ass was totally off-limits. I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t even remotely see how that could even feel good, and most importantly, I’m not gay, only gay men stick things up their ass, straight guys fuck women in the ass, they don’t get fucked.

It all started probably about six years ago when one of my partners said you want to try a little anal play and gave me a tiny little butt plug, and I was like, " Sure, let’s go with it and while it didn’t necessarily feel good, there was something interesting in my willingness to surrender even that kind of action.

Now, over time, because I’m competitive by nature, I kept trying bigger and bigger items, and finally I decided I might want to try that, and I think the attraction was that my partner is gorgeous and dominant and looks so sexy with a strap-on. So finally, I consented, and I was blown away. It wasn’t so much the physical sensation. It was a connection I had that I don’t think I ever had before as a top.

Honestly, I felt so much more intimately connected, and I think more trusting of her at that moment than almost anyone else in my life.

I think what it represents was a total surrender and a total trust to another human being, but it wasn’t about being weaker. It was about trust and vulnerability.

As someone who is always in control, and as someone who has struggled so hard to try to fit the classic alpha male stereotype. It was kind of a relief to let go of all that and not be in charge. It was also letting go of somehow, I wasn’t a straight heterosexual male because I let a woman penetrate me.

If anything, it made me more secure in my masculinity because it wasn’t the body parts or the action. It was trusting this woman with my most sacred thing sexually.

And now it’s part of my play, not always and not with anyone.

I enjoy it. I enjoy the surrender. I enjoy the trust, and it has actually helped me grow and be more secure in who I am. I think to totally surrendering and being vulnerable. You actually have to have faith in how strong you are that you’re not making yourself a lesser person because of you doing that, you actually have strength in your own power, and you trust giving that power over to somebody else, even for half an hour.

Plus, lets face it, it’s sexy as hell seeing a beautiful woman in a corset thigh high with a strap on. I just find that hot as hell. And the truth is, you can call me whatever name you want, but if getting fucked by a gorgeous woman in the ass makes me gay. I guess I’m gay. Lol